I got a text today from H saying she didn’t think they would come to W for Christmas because it was boring here, and we didn’t really decorate for Christmas. This came after last minute thoughts about going to Colorado to celebrate Christmas. These ideas came from H after Thanksgiving, which were a surprise to T & I.
When I read it, I was ashamed of her for saying such a blunt, rude, thing to me. I didn’t even want T to hear it, but I was so amazed and shocked I read it to him. Even when I read it I was in complete disbelief.
I decided not to answer her back for now. I don’t know how to respond to it. My first idea was to blast her to the arctic with an icy reply that doubled down on her remark. I can certainly do that, thanks to Mom. Aaaa, let’s see…”You little bitch. I think I will just forget about giving you anything for the next 2 years and see if you can muster a little more respect and thankfulness.”
Then I came up with a nasty, sarcastic response that would sting her, so she had no doubt how rude she was. How about…”well, sure, I understand why you wouldn’t come. I guess I was mistaken to think that you came here to be with us and enjoy our company as a family instead of being entertained. After all, you have no problem driving to Minnesota for 6 hours in the car several times a year.”
Now, I just feel hurt. Really hurt. For some reason, I had, in the back of my heart, hidden somewhere, that she felt that way, but I didn’t even pull it out, cause I had no idea H would be that selfish. Did she say that to hurt me for getting the cabin? To punish me for not being able to say how she really felt about us spending the $$ for it?
Have I done something to hurt her and I didn’t know it, and now she’s getting me back?
Last time she was here, she blasted me about my weight saying she didn’t want me to be unable to play on the floor with the kids. I don’t like sitting on the floor, but I do it. Should I have to sit on the floor to be a good Nana?
I feel betrayed. I wonder if she is embarrassed by me. Does she say nasty things about me to her other family? She didn’t have any problem saying what she thought with M, Z and C when she was there.
“Love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4;8. I have always thought that meant when you love someone your love of them covers over places where they fall short of your deeper understanding of them. It actually says “Love each other deeply, for love covers a multitude of sins”.
So, I wunder… is boring my sin that can’t love deeply enough to be covered?